i walk a fine line between the right and the real
by glitters and gold
Summary: You can't remember the last time you did anything just for yourself, and you want this and you want him, so you let it happen. :: Ten pieces of what would have, could have, and maybe even should have happened. AU. Thalia/Percy.


**Note: **I don't know why I wrote this, it came from no where, completely random and totally unexpected. But it flowed better than anything I've written in the longest time and it just felt so _good _to have something pour out. In case any of you cared. And I felt like I bent Thalia. But I've never seen anyone give them a non-angsting piece, and _someone _needed to have them be happy together. One Kelly Clarkson quote. And one Avril quote plus tons of All Time Low quotes and if you catch either Avril or ATL I shall deem you a fan and fall in love with you. Gaah, I love them.

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><p><strong>i. p <strong>i **c **t **u **r **e **f **u **c **k **i **n **g **p **e **r **f **e **c **t.**

pi c t u r e t h i s.

The boy and girl meet. Girl actually nurses boy back to health because she's just so _caring_and_kind_and_compassionate_. Boy and girl go on quest. Said quest involves neardeaths and haywire gods and _furies_and_underworlds_and_lightningbolts._ Greeneyes and blondeprincesscurls survive and then they're _friends._

And then boy and girl run away together, because they're _friends _and it's just so fairytalelovecliché. Girl cries on boy's shoulder and then boy and girl are a little more than friends, wouldn't you say?

Greeneyes and princessblondecurls save you. Together. They _saved _you. Because they're just so amazing and perfect and morethan_friends._

p i c t u r e t h i s.

Girl gets captured and boy is desperate to find her because they're more than friends now and they _need _each other, remember? And it's as simple or as complicated, take your pick of which to call it, as defying rules and logic to get to her. Boy has a way convincing even the most stubborn of circumstances to fold around him until he gets what he wants out of it just by quick and clever thinking. So it's not really a surprise when he's the one who propels the group forward and they come out in actual _victory _with only a few snipped strings along the way.

p i c t u r e t h i s.

Greeneyes and princesscurls ride off into the sunset together, because now they're more than friends and it's just so fairytalelovecliché.

Do you have the picture?

Now tear it up.

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><p><strong>ii. v <strong>a** r** i **a** b** l** e **s.**

Annabeth is smart. It's a simple fact of nature. Because grayeyes mean smart in this universe, even if they're grayeyedbeauties and not plaidskirt-glasses-kneesocks-brainiacs. But maybe you overestimated her, because _smart _girls are supposed to anticipate all the options and feel the shifts before they happen. The brainiacs solve the riddles. The truly intelligent ones look beyond the obvious. See beyond what looks right. What's right in front of their face.

_Smart _girls see the variables and solve them before they screw up the equation.

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><p><strong>iii. c <strong>h** e **m **i **c **f **r **e **q **u **e **n **c **i **e **s.**

Artemis seems so completely convinced you almost feel a pang when you have to look her dead in her catlike eyes and fiercely answer _no. _She blinks once, twice, but nods her assent even though you don't really care about her approval anyway. Because lovely bands of sisters were never really your thing anyways and you just think it's like trying to shove a jagged rock into pliable silver and something about it just doesn't _work._

Annabeth cocks her head and Aphrodite dangerously quirks and eyebrow and Athena draws her lips in a thin line. Only Percy doesn't look surprised in the slightest, and he manages to contort the lack of reaction into a less-than-gratifying and completely perturbing way, and the irony of it is not lost on you. There's something about the serenity of his features that gnaws at you, and although Percy is undeniably charismatic and sometimes intuitive, you should still be able to shock him.

He feels the weight of your gaze and shifts his position to meet your line of vision, eyes upturned inquisitively and almost glowing in the soft Olympian lights that sway above your heads at a dizzying height. The shadows edging along his jawline add a softness that Percy's features don't usually hold, and you find that you like it.

He smiles at you gently. It's so small that you don't think anyone else could've seen it. But it's there, and it's directed at you, and somehow you know he understands your reasons and what you're waiting for all too perfectly.

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><p><strong>iv. e<strong> l **e **m** e **n** t **a **l.**

Oh, and he isn't perfect. He's stubborn and wild and reckless and one of those things that you can't wrap your mind around because he just doesn't fit. Because he spent too long out by the sea and merged with the wind and the waves. He drowns in his dreams and he's made of tsunamis and hurricanes and explosions and every once in a while you see one come out and it amazes you just how much one person can keep inside.

Annabeth tells you he's not the secretive type, but you can tell there's something brewing within the salty waves inside that no one notices, or simply doesn't care about.

But you see it.

And the strangest thing is, if someone asked you what Percy Jackson was made of, you'd say _fire._ Fire and lightning. People who are made of the same stuff aren't supposed to attract, but maybe all opposites really do is distract. The fire inside him is completely impossible and contradictory to everything he knows and where he comes from, but he blazes and burns anyway.

Except no one else can see past the waves.

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><p><strong>v.<strong>** l **e **a **r** n **i **n **g **h **o **w **t **o **f **a** l **l.**

You don't know how it started, how or when or why or _how._ But it doesn't matter because it _happened _and it was _real _and it actually _happened._

And it doesn't make sense because you _almost_maybe_could've _loved Luke and he's teetering right over the edge of fallingfalling_falling _in love with blondecurlsgrayeyes and right into _her _arms.

But Annabeth can't plan when she doesn't see it coming, so you just swoop in and take what you wanted because you already died for her and you don't remember when you last did something for yourself. There's no way out of it anyway so you think you might as well stay in, because you _want _this and you want _him _and he kissed _you _and all you had to do was make the decision to _respond. _So for the first and maybe only time in your life you let someone else take control, just for a little while.

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><p><strong>vi. d <strong>o **m **i **n **a** n **c **e.**

You're not naïve enough to believe it's love, because it's not. You're not even sure what love could do to you two because you're brash and careless and maybe you both feel too much. You end up screaming at each other most of the time, but all you know is when it works it works and when it's broken it's perfect. When it's fiery and passionate and at it's very best sometimes your lips are red and calloused and even _bleeding _a few times and it's getting really physical really fast, but there's a level of innocence behind it. You're not sure if it's his innocence or you own, but either way it's brilliant and you hope that it will stay.

Sometimes, when you step back and let things slow down and really focus on what's happening, you realize how crazy the two of you really is. You don't love. It's nothing more than two fiery beings fighting for control of the relationship. But even if it _is _crazy, it's still realer than anything you've ever known and it's exciting and _delicious _and maybe when you're feeling all mushy-gushy you'd even call it _beautiful._

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><p><strong>vii. <strong>**t **h **i **n **g **s **w **e **s **h **a **r **e.**

She fixes you with her most intimidating glare, as though she's trying to extract information out of you by sheer will. But Athena doesn't pass along telepathy, darling, no matter how fitting that may be.

"Thals, you'd tell me if there was anything... going on, right?"

"Yeah. 'Course. What kind of stupid question is that, anyway?"

And it is pretty dumb, because Annabeth should know that you're a better liar than you let on and you can stomach secrets pretty damn well.

She smiles and looks so incredibly _relieved _that it twists your stomach because they were supposed to _be _and you screwed it up for her. And you look into her eyes, and they're still so wide and trusting like they were that first night in the alley, and that seven-year-old girl is still in there, in spite of everything. You can't tell her. You _can't. _You'll... you'll make Percy do it, and you'll pretend that nothing happened before you made it official. It's not _really _lying, anyway, it's... evasion. Protective evasive tactics. And it's so bittersweet because you're a lot less sorry than you should be, because you're the one who's getting what you wanted.

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><p><strong>viii. r <strong>u **l **e **b **o **o** k **s.**

You don't love. You don't know how to. Because everything in your life breaks and shatters before you get the chance to really and truly love it with no regrets and nothing holding you back.

You don't trust. Because nothing was ever worth trusting. Luke was always watching your back, until he forgot what he was really fighting for and he back-stabbed you instead. Grover was supposed to protect you. But he failed and you died. And you trusted Annabeth to remember you and hold on to the little girl with the wide eyes, but she lost herself and she lost you and she's so tangled you barely even recognize her. Jason was supposed to stay with you and grow up with you and you were supposed to laugh with him and he was supposed to hold on to you like a little brother should, but that didn't happen either. So you learned prematurely that everyone will let you down, somehow, someway. And that was enough to make you build up walls, some walls made of glass and some of plastic and some of stone. You didn't shut people out, you just learned how to cope on your own. And that was okay, because it worked for you and you were fine.

He doesn't lie. He's so brutally honest, in fact, that sometimes it hurts. He doesn't run from truth and he's not afraid of standing in front of crowds, flaws visible and hanging out for everyone's all-too judgmental eyes, raw and vulnerable and completely exposed. He's disgusted with deceivers and he'd never be able to keep a dirty secret. He would tell someone anything he believed they had a right to know. Because he's honorable and trustworthy and genuine in everything he does, and it's just that simple.

He doesn't plan. And how could he? His life fluctuates too often and there's too much flexibility. There's only just enough room to improvise, and improvise he does. Often. Always. There's a constant pattern of inconsistency, and he never does things the same way twice. He's dead-set on never learning from his mistakes and always managing to shock people who really should get used to it already. He insists on doing everything himself and always taking the force of the blow, and he's irrational and indignant. Anyone else would fail epically keeping up a diverse life of epic proportions, but he always manages to pull it off without the slightest visible hesitation and somehow it just always works.

These are rules of who you are and the few marks of your differences. But everyone with half a brain knows rules are made to be broken, and you realize this almost too suddenly when you start trust-falling into Percy and he starts lying and plotting just because you asked him to. Neither one of you is pleased with who you're becoming and you know you've got to do something fast, before you lose your own identities. And without the basis of who you are, how can you keep going?

You wouldn't know the answer. But maybe you were meant to figure it out together.

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><p><strong>ix. f<strong> r **a** g **m** e **n** t **s** a **n** d **f** i **c** t **i** o **n** s.

He told her, and you can't say you didn't see it coming, but you're still not sure how to handle this.

You're locked in your cabin because you don't wanna talk to him and you cannot; will not face her. Your dying for information but to confused and ashamed you let it carry on for so long, keeping him a a secret and forcing him to keep it too. But _whatdidhesay?_ There's so many different ways she could've interpreted it, especially with Percy's _gift_ for explaining things and how fast Annabeth thinks.

There's also a blunt, simple question that's plaguing you and teasingtoyingtaunting you and you're not sure how you to answer it.

What comes next?

You can't go public. Neither one of you is actually really cut out for a relationship. There's too many complications and it wouldn't survive out in the open, free for speculation and judgment and disapproval.

And the one piece of you that you still permit to regret is nagging that you should put an end to it once and for all, because there's only one boy and two girls and Annabeth met him first anyways and you came back from the dead because of her own compassion and you were supposed to stay out of her way by joining the Hunters but you didn't, and you're still here screwing everything up. The rest of you reasons that Percy has a brain and a will and a _choice._ There was always a choice, and neither you or Annabeth could've make it for him.

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><p><strong>x. t <strong>h **e **a **r **t **o **f **l **e **t **t **i **n **g **g **o.**

Maybe it was stupid. Maybe it was never meant to be, or it never should've happened, or it was just a plain old _mistake, _because you _are _half-human and you _do _screw up. You still fight a lot and you often wonder what you got yourself into. You haven't killed each other yet and everyone is shocked that you're actually _lasting, _and to be honest, both you and Percy are shocked yourselves.

But there's three things about this insane, passionate, and powerful relationship that you can be completely convinced of: It's dysfunctional and dangerous and difficult, but when it works it works, and this is exactly the way you want it to stay.


End file.
